They say that kids and teenagers are always in a rush to grow up. Maybe my parents will disagree with me, but I’ve never felt like I wanted to be older than I am. I have always been perfectly content with my age, my maturity and the responsibilities and expectations set for me.
Around me, friends had already moved out. They had established full or part-time jobs or were nearing the end of their university careers. Meanwhile, I was coming home at a curfew that my parents were still trying to implement. I struggled between trying to be patient, knowing one day I'd be on my own and establishing an understanding with my parents that as I get older, I would need more freedom.
This was the only time when I felt a form of pressure on myself to catch up to my peers.
Being an only child, one could say I grew up materialistically spoiled and while it may have been true occasionally, there is no doubt I was spoiled with attention and affection from my parents. At times, it felt overbearing but I knew they always meant well. I knew that my time to move out was coming soon and I was excited. Did I feel ready? Absolutely not. But older people around me told me that I would never be ready, I just had to do it.
So I packed my bags and headed off to university in another country. Saying goodbye to my parents was harder than I expected. I knew I would cry, but I practically bawled on the way to the airport, on the plane, in the taxi and once I got to my apartment.
I was drowning in the feeling of being overwhelmed when I got to my new home. I was exhausted from the move and emotionally unstable after having to say goodbye to my parents, my best friends, and my comfort zone. I stood in the middle of the apartment and asked myself where I should start. However, I was completely lost. Instead, I asked myself where my mom would start.
I pictured her arriving in a new home, taking a look around and deciding what needs to be done. I unpacked my things and set them up how I thought my mom would. As a matter of fact, I tried to copy exactly how she had things at home. Reusable shopping bags went in the drawer under the oven, the medicine cabinet was to be one cabinet away from the stove, and all my snacks would end up on shelves that I couldn’t reach. I keep in mind constantly all the tips they gave me when it comes to cleaning or grocery shopping.
My biggest fear when I left home was how much my parents needed me. I begged them to get a dog or a cat so they would still have some creature still running around to take care of. What I didn’t realise was how much I would need them.
It’s been a month since I moved out and I still call my parents about twice a day and sometimes even three times when I’m really missing them. There is no formula to leaving the safety of your nest, much to my dismay. On rough days, and there have been a lot, all I craved was a hug from my mother. Since that is not possible, I remembered all the times my dad told me to stand back up whenever I fell.
If there is anything that my parents have told me that has stuck with me, is to wander as far as I want to. I can always come back home where they will be waiting for me.
