If there is anything I hoard in this world, it is journals. I am obsessed with collecting as many as I can and currently I own more than ten. Most of them are empty. However, I will still search and buy more because it pushes my idea of having freedom to do whatever I want to a journal I already own.
My friend bought me another journal for my 22nd birthday and he said to me "don't write anything in there that you will cringe at later". Cringing at one's past self is natural, of course. We are always evolving, even when we don't realise it. So, why should we feel embarrassed at our past thoughts and behaviour? Especially when it comes to a skill or hobby we've been working on for years? Everyone had to start somewhere. A skill takes time to develop.
My writing now is completely different than how it was when I was a child. But I still enjoy reading my old diaries. My thoughts were so naive and immature, focusing on crushes on boys and drama between friends, but it all made me who I am today. Frankly, if it hadn't been for my diaries, I wouldn't have the ability to self-reflect and analyse that I have now.
I like to think that all that time spent on writing about my thoughts and days helped me be comfortable and confident with myself. It gave me the chance to get to know myself by paying attention to my feelings and the causes.
I knew that one day I would cringe at my writing. My thirty year old self will probably cringe at this. But if I don't do it, how will I get better?